Why? you might ask. THIS is why.
ALYSSA CASTREY IS GETTING MARRIED!
Poop! is all I can think of to say. But I should explain why this is so brain threatening and speech confounding. Alyssa is a friend from the Imperial Valley. She was from the coveted 3rd ward and was super super sweet. She's younger than me. Younger than me! Of all the people in the whole wide world to be younger than and to be engaged... me? Really? I can't even THINK about me in a marriage. Wow. I mean I know, "age is just a number" but it's a VERY important number. Poop. I'm not the weird one, right? I shouldn't be getting married, right? It isn't a big deal that I haven't been on a single date since my sixteenth birthday, right? Right? Right?
I think I'm having a mid-eighteenth-year-of-life crisis. I need help.
P.S. If I die in a tragic car accident or from an aneurysm I want my headstone to read, "Her head exploded... literally." I literally want it to say that. And this is for realsies. NJK. (Not Just Kidding)
I think I'm having a mid-eighteenth-year-of-life crisis. I need help.
P.S. If I die in a tragic car accident or from an aneurysm I want my headstone to read, "Her head exploded... literally." I literally want it to say that. And this is for realsies. NJK. (Not Just Kidding)
2 comments:
LOL - literally! I was laughing out loud at this post.
1) Head literally exploding is always funny to me. Literally.
2) Someone YOUNGER THAN YOU getting married? That's just laughable. I wish them nothing but the best, of course, but I literally share your views. It's the same exact view, and we have to share it.
3) You've got YEARS before you suffer your quarter-life crisis, so enjoy being young. Marriage need not cross your mind for literally years!
4) I had a 5 year dry spell from 1994 to 1999. Literally! Nary a date/NCMO in sight. And look at me now - 6-year marriage notwithstanding, I'm still the family (shameless) hussy! There's hope for you yet!
CAITLIN I'm actually not going to think about getting married until I'm about 32, so you thinking about getting married explodes my head too.
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